Monday, October 24

Re: New York City Council Member Margaret Chin



Margaret Chin has been the District 1 council member since January 2010. Chin, a Democrat, was the first Asian American woman elected to city council. (THE FIRST TWO SENTENCES COULD BE TURNED INTO ONE TO GET THE READER INTERESTED MORE QUICKLY) She has been actively participating in the fight to protect schools, senior citizens, and community organizations from budget cuts, having “called on Albany to support an additional surcharge on the top 2% of New York households,” according to her city council website.

Chin moved to the United States with her family from Hong Kong, China, when she was nine years old. Chin grew up in Chinatown, attending P.S. 130 and JHS 65 (THESE ARE A LITTLE CONFUSING IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE SCHOOL SYSTEM) for school. After attending the Bronx High School of Science, she attended the City College of New York, receiving a degree in education.
Following college, Chin became very active in enriching the rights of Asian immigrants. She helped found Asian Americans for Equality, a group that was designed to help Asian Americans and other immigrants who were in need. Chin served as the president of the group from 1982 until 1986. Chin also worked at a continuing education community college, helping immigrants get a college education. (A BIT REPETITIVE W/ THE WORDS "COLLEGE" AND "EDUCATION") Chin’s father came to America before the rest of his family did, and his struggles during that time period have always motivated Chin (SOURCE/QUOTE?) to helping improve the quality of life for immigrants.

District 1 in Manhattan in made up of the lowest parts of Manhattan. Canal Street serves as its northern border, going all the way down to the bottom of Manhattan. District 1 includes the Financial District, Battery Park City, Tribeca, Ellis Island, and Governor’s Island. (ALL THIS INFO IS A LITTLE OVERWHELMING AT THIS POINT. COULD THIS PARAGRAPH BE MOVED/SOMEHOW INTERTWINED WITH ANOTHER PARAGRAPH?)

Chin has been dealing (DEALING HOW? POSITIVE/NEGATIVE?), as has everybody in the area, with Occupy Wall Street. She has come under fire recently for not marching with on Zuccotti Park with other members of the City Council, despite being one of the most liberal members of the Council. Multiple articles have sighted (CITED?) that while in college, Chin was a member of the Communist Workers Party. (THIS IS INTERESTING - ANY MORE BACKGROUND INFO WOULD BE GREAT) Her response for why she was not at the march was due to a “scheduling conflict”, adding, “I have been to so many marches.”

Chin also serves as the Lower Manhattan Redevelopment Committee Chair, having recently conducted a research project about furthering preliminary cancer research. Chin is married to Alan Tung, a public school teacher, and has a son, Kevin, who graduated from Syracuse University. (I FEEL LIKE THIS PARAGRAPH IS OUT OF PLACE AND DOESN'T END THE ARTICLE VERY SMOOTHLY. IF ALL THE INFO ABOUT HER FAMILY/BACKGROUND WOULD BE IN ONE PARAGRAPH, IT COULD BE EASIER TO FOLLOW.  SOME MORE QUOTES FROM HER WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD. IN GENERAL, I THOUGHT THIS PIECE WAS A GREAT SUMMARY OF HER AS A COUNCIL MEMBER. THE STRUCTURE'S A LITTLE CONFUSING, ALTHOUGH THE LAYOUT'S GREAT!)

No comments:

Post a Comment